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Master and Apprentice 2 (Project Old Porn)
flamebusy
bladespark
I have decided to share some of my older stories with folks. Some are terrible stories, some are good stories. Some are super old, some a little more recent, and some were never actually completed, they're just fragments. Some are fanfiction, some are original. However, the one thing they all have in common is they have steamy hot sex scenes in them. I thought some people here might enjoy that.

——
The continuing erotic adventure of Serapha the feline vampire and Jervaen the were-jackal mage.

F/M, anal, primal, Master/slave, collaring, fluffy caring relationship

Read more...Collapse )
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If you enjoyed that, you might like a few of my more recent stories. You can find them for sale in various places, on patreon, on AO3, or just here on DW.

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1506978.html.

Writing things in progress
flamebusy
bladespark
Here's what I have in-progress and at least semi-actively being worked on right now. (I have way more uncompleted stories, but a lot of them are things I'm not sure if I'll come back to or not, and a few are definitely abandoned.)

There's actually a ton of these, so I should put in a cutCollapse )

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1506628.html.

Putting the official stamp on it.
flamebusy
bladespark
"I've never gotten to this page before," says the woman from the early childhood intervention program, sounding rather pleasantly shocked. Last time the goober child got assessed, a different woman said "I've never seen a child do that before." This time it was about understood vocabulary. The goober, who is just about to turn three, apparently has the vocabulary of a typical 7 year old. Last time it was about pattern making, when at the end of a series of questions about "can you put all the red blocks together" etc. the goober child created her own unique repeating pattern and arranged the blocks into it. She was just barely two, I believe.

And of course when they assessed her ability to use words, to communicate, to interact, to socialize, she tests well behind the typical 3 year old. All those words she knows, yet she has almost no understanding of how to use those words to express herself.

It's like staring at myself.

I remember being six, and being told I read at an 8th grade level. But reading was all I did. I learned enough about how to interact with other kids to get by, but I was never any good at it. I survived, but I didn't thrive socially.

Still don't, sometimes, though these days I can almost do most of it automatically, at least if I'm not too tired. Smile, make eye contact, arrange the proper body language, say the proper words, use the proper tone. I'm 40, and I started having at least the ghost of a clue about how to properly interact with people sometime in my 20s, so by now I do fairly well at it.

I was never put in a program, of course. I was never diagnosed with anything, or given any special support. Maybe with this program she'll get her ghost of a clue as a kid, and grow up without having to struggle to socialize, I don't know.

The goober child isn't diagnosed either, mind. The nice ladies testing her said that if I wanted, they could push for her to have a formal diagnosis, and everything they're seeing is very consistent with how autism presents in girls her age. They seemed extremely concerned that I might find the very thought that the goober is autistic to be traumatic. I kind of wanted to laugh at them. I'm fairly certain I'm autistic, and I've had a perfectly fine life. Everyone has struggles. That my struggles were with how to relate to other human beings without feeling like an alien or a robot is not the worst possible thing.

They thanked me for being so understanding, and willing to talk to them. I mentally rolled my eyes at the freak-outs they must have gotten from other parents, though I suppose it might be harder to get "your child is probably autistic" without "also your child is in the 82nd percentile in verbal understanding" to cushion it. I didn't ask for a diagnosis when they offered, though. It doesn't make any difference to her acceptance in the program, the little "yes, there are social delays" tickyboxes they ticked today do that, without needing anything else, and I don't feel like an official stamp makes any difference, one way or the other.

She's my kid. I suspect I never got the official stamp largely because "girls" (I'm not exactly a girl, but you know) weren't diagnosed autistic thirty-odd years ago. I don't need the official stamp on her to know she's like me. I'm just glad that she can have the help and support I didn't, and maybe will muddle through a little less awfully and in isolation than I did.

But even that's not the end of the world if she does, I got through it too, and I think I came out the other end just fine.

And I can't help but be proud of how damn smart the little squirt is. :D They asked if I was teaching her to write letters yet. Maybe I'll start. She can be a writer too, if she wants. She certainly knows how to type already!

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1506474.html.

Some space oddities
flamebusy
bladespark
Major Tom, by Peter Schilling came on the radio while I was driving the goober child back from school this morning. (I could talk about her "school", it's quite a nifty little program, but perhaps another day.)

I will absolutely admit that Davide Bowie's Space Oddity is a "better" song. It's more complex, more nuanced, more subtle, all the things that tend to make for good art (or good food, too, funnily enough). The Schilling song is just pure 80's synth pop junk, but it's the version I encountered first, and I'll always love it in a different way, even if it's not as "good" as the Bowie song. I also realized today, as I was listening to it, that certain parts, especially the vocals in the chorus, hit my synesthesia in a really good way.

Now that I'm consciously aware that I have sound>touch synesthesia (that is, certain sounds are tactile to me in an almost literal way) I've started to notice that many songs I like "for no reason" trigger the synesthesia strongly. Not all sounds, and not all music does, but some things do. Certain harmonies, certain... gods, it's hard to put into words. Certain "textures" to sounds. See, we don't have words for it other than "texture" or "sound", neither of which is quite right. When a sound has a texture in a certain way? There's a certain kind of guitar distortion that really does it, for example. (Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child O' Mine's famous guitar riff is a good example of the exact kind I mean) and a lot of 80s synth stuff tends to as well. Also brass instruments, not tuba, but sometimes trombone, often french horn, and a certain tone of trumpet, especially in the higher registers. Things that are...clear but also fuzzy? Metallic? It's hard to name the quality that does it, but all those things have it in common. Close harmony does it sometimes regardless of instrument, it's an interaction thing. A single note without any fuzz or distortion or whatever you call the vibratory quality of brass instruments can't do it, pure tones are furthest from it, but too much distortion isn't right either. (Part of why I had such a hard time getting into metal, I think, a lot of metal gets very far into the distortion, and away from clear tones and clear vocals. Though I've always liked symphonic metal. Plenty of Nightwish does the thing.)

I think people very into ASMR might understand. Though it's not the ASMR whisper, but there's just a very specific kind of quality to a sound that does the thing. It's not the ASMR frisson, but it's like it. It's more...an impact on the skin? A feeling of metallic drops that are also crystalline and also warm and fuzzy and... Eh. So hard to put into words! And the distinct guitar notes in Sweet Child O' Mine are definitely drops, while the synth + vocals in Major Tom is more like just having that texture rubbed all over me.

But yeah. I never used to know that most people don't literally feel music. Why wouldn't you, it's a vibration, right? Sound is tactile, right? It took a long time to realize that it's not tactile in that way for most people.

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1506077.html.

Letting my friends read.
flamebusy
bladespark
Letting? Asking to? I don't know. There's a weird push-pull with sharing my stories.

On the one hand, I enjoy sharing, enjoy getting feedback, and a lot of the time friends are basically doing beta reading. They're doing work for me, for free. On the other hand, I sell this shit, and I literally charge Patreon patrons money in order to read the stuff early, so I'm giving friends something for free that I would normally charge for.

I figure it kinda balances out? So when somebody is a friend, I am always happy to let them read my stuff early. Right as I write it even, that's fine. But it's kinda like...

I don't want to shove it down people's throats. Especially since I write a LOT. I'll mention what I'm writing. If you don't sound interested, I won't offer to have you read it, because why would you want to if you're not interested? And if I send something, and you give no feedback, I'll figure you either hated it, or were too busy to read it, and I'll never send you anything again.

It's not any kind of like "You didn't praise me, punish!" It's literally just why would I harass somebody to read a thing when they clearly had no time to read the last thing yet?

Unfortunately it turns out that apparently some people read it and like it and say nothing about it and then are wondering why I've never offered them anything else to read even though I keep mentioning things I'm writing and OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE I'M NOT PSYCHIC. You gotta tell me you read the last one, and you gotta speak up when I'm talking about the current one and be interested, okay?

People, man. They are dumb. Even friends, sometimes. :P It's very frustrating.

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1505962.html.

Tick the tickybox
flamebusy
bladespark
My life currently runs on alarms and checklists.

In some ways it's annoying. Can't I just do what needs doing as I think of it?

Well, the answer to that is "nope!" It doesn't work and things get forgotten or put off or not done and that is why, by the way, I had to get the roots of my teeth planed, which is not fun and also cost money, but I never remembered to floss and trying to fit that second brushing in every day wasn't working, though at least I was doing the one.

Now I have an alarm, 11:30am, which is usually just after I'm done with getting up goober, feeding her breakfast, catching up on e-mails, having a cup of tea, etc. which are all things I manage without an alarm, ("goober needs to be fed" is self-alarming and always has been, kids will let you know when they're hungry, though her favorite way to do that right now is to start begging for chocolate chips) but the tooth brushing now happens at a strict time after that.

The posting content on the net also had a schedule, an alarm, a list of things to post, and a bunch of other organizational shit, and while on one hand it all feels cumbersome, work-like, without joy, on the other, it kinda is my job, ish? And it is damn satisfying to tick that ticky box, cross that thing off the list, delete that thing from the organizing document, and say "did that!"

So I guess I'll take it.

Although I have been adhering faithfully to my publicity-aimed posting schedule for over a week now, and I'm still not world famous, dammit!

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1505576.html.

Being the new kid
flamebusy
bladespark
Starting out on a new platform is always a bit frustrating. You put things up and nobody much notices, because nobody is following you, nobody knows who you are, etc.

That said, I am cautiously optimistic about trying to post stories on Sofurry. It seems to at least have a decent audience of readers, unlike furaffinity, where just getting a handful of view is an accomplishment and favorites, comments, and new followers seem nearly impossible to get.

On the off chance anybody here uses the site, here's my profile. https://a-rhiannon.sofurry.com/

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1505299.html.

Master and Apprentice (Project Old Porn)
flamebusy
bladespark
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

Not that into the tropes, I guess?
flamebusy
bladespark
Everyone I follow is doing this trope meme. I gave it a try, but after nearly ten answers in a row that were don't care/no preference I think my appreciation of tropes isn't much lining up with this meme. I mean, tropes certainly are a thing, and I like certain ones a lot and dislike others, but I'm obviously not reading the same things as everybody else, because really, most of those I'd barely ever read and the ones I had I didn't feel strongly about at all.

It's probably the kink thing, and the pony thing. MLP fandom has its own unique tropes, and the BDSM community is it's own unique planet of ideas and expectations. (And my local slice of it even moreso.)

Also, to be honest, a lot of the time I read more than I write. These days very literally. I'm down to one shortish book every two to three weeks, and I'm writing at least a shortish book's worth in about that time, so... Yeah.

But that's not bad! Certainly I've gotten a lot of great ideas from other people's stories, but there's something to be said for forming at least some of your ideas in your own head, without drawing on what other folks are doing. Tropes are useful to understand, but you don't have to write The Hero's Journey in order to write a coming of age story. (Okay, now I actually want to see if I can map Kiss Against the Wall to the classic Hero's Journey. I bet if you look at it just the right way I can. That first kiss is the Call to Action, obviously...)

Anyway. I'm not a part of "fandom" in quite the same way some people are, and that's fine. :3 But it does occasionally leave me mildly baffled at discovering what other people consider everyday and commonplace in their stories.

Edit: I went ahead and did it anyway because I'm bored. Read more...Collapse )

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1504987.html.

What's this? A costume?
flamebusy
bladespark
Haven't had a finished costume photo to post here in what feels like an eternity. (Actually I think I finished a couple while I was just kinda not using the site? Might go back and find those at some point. But anyway.)

So here is a pony!

My Little Pony OC fursuitCollapse )

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1504541.html.