June 20th, 2002



So today's big news is that the Ogden City power grid is all futzed up again. We had a short power out last night, and today we've already had to little blips and a second short outage. Not fun when you're trying to do stuff on the computer. I'd go home and get my laptop, but for various reasons I can't really use the laptop on the internet during daylight hours. Ah well.

Comic update? No progress so far today. Tonight I plan to finish the new characters sketches, if I can. And I might actually draw out the banners and other promotional stuff.

Other than that exactly nothing is happening today.
  • Current Music
    Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue.


"It's a lesson every one of us can learn,
That the answers never come without a fight.
And when it seems you've struggled far too long,
Just hold on, hold on, there will be light.

If you feel trapped inside a never-ending night,
If you've forgotten how it feels to feel the light,
If you're half-crazy thinking you're the only one
Who's afraid the light will never really come,
Just hold on, hold on,
The light will come."
-excerpt from "Hold On" from the musical "The Ark" by Michael McLean

Have you ever had an epiphany? A moment when the whole universe seemed to make sense and things clicked together and God lives and all is well? The funny thing is that in my life most of the few times I've had that kind of moment were triggered by a song. Music touches me in a way few other things can. So today at work for once my coworkers weren't blasting rap, and I could listen to something quiet. (Usually I listen to loud happy pop at work, since it's the only thing I like that can drown out the rap.) I hadn't listened to "The Ark" in a long time, so I stuck it in the CD player and put on the headphones. It's an excellent musical, if not very well known outside of Utah, and I've listened to it a hundred times. I've even sung "Hold On" with Michal McLean himself as part of the chorus. I know the words by heart. But for some reason I'd always thought of the darkness it's talking about as having to do with tragedy. Things like September 11, or like losing a loved one. I never thought to apply the song to how I was feeling, or that loneliness can be a kind of "dark" until today. I was listening to it, and it just hit me that I am in the dark, but that the light is up ahead somewhere. It was like the song just spoke straight to me, or like God spoke through the music... I don't know. But it just touched me, and I actually started crying. (I was very glad the cubicles are arranged so my coworkers couldn't see me sitting there with my headphones on bawling my eyes out.)

It was just one of those moments when everything clicked and all was well. Now if only there was a way to preserve that feeling so I can stop being so depressed... I know the light is out there somewhere, but it's the waiting to find it that's driving me nuts. I really am not very patient...

Ah well.
  • Current Music
    The Ark, by Michael McLean.