February 17th, 2004


Peace of mind

To me the way I know if I'm doing what's really right for me is if I have peace of mind about it. Oh, I may be upset, or angry, or unahppy with things, but somewhere under that all, when I've chosen what will work out best in the end, there's peace. Some of that is just my own mind, some of it I belive is more spiritual. A bit of God's light giving me reassurance that I'm on the path again.

I lost my peace of mind for a while last night, and I really started to worry. I started to wonder. Last night was stressful enough between one thing and another, that my peace coudln't stay with me. I doubed for a while. But sometime today my peace came back. And that's the thing... I lost it when stress and, well, and frankly when my mother drove it away, a talent which she has in abundance. But it came back as soon as I was able to lose that stress. It was just there, quiet and calm again, in the middle of work, for no reason. So I trust that it's real, and that it will stay.

And even though a lot of things hurt very badly right now, I still know that somehow it will all work out. Things may be dark for a while, but they'll get better.
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