I'm a little calmer now, and I eye my previous post with uncertainty.
On the one hand, it's a bit... ticked off, and not exactly polite. Perhaps I should take it down.
On the other hand, it's true to what I felt at the time, and in less heated words I still feel the same. And deleting it just so I won't look bad is silly, and not terribly mature.
Is leaving it up doing any harm to any? Only to one, and then only if you know who I'm talking about. I tarnish her reputation to no strangers, only to those who already disagree with me, or who already agree. (Well, and to those who care enough to read all the comments, I suppose... But one could always go and read her side, if you're going to be actually paying attention and caring about all this.)
I think I'll leave it. If nothing else because I find it annoying when somebody mentions some entertainingly drama-laden post, and I go to read it, only to find it's been taken down. Far be it from me to remove the amusement of the gossiping, nosy hordes!
Well, my mood is improved immensely! Once by meeting and talking to sphix, who probably wouldn't have come out of the woodwork if not for this little fiasco, so yay.
And then twice by getting a downpayment for an /adorable/ toony pony costume. One of those graceful yet shaggy-about-the-feet kinds, that remind me of a miniature Friesian. That's a nice, juicy $300 to squirrel away. I'll spend a good chunk of it on supplies for said suit, of course, but there will be a smidge left, and then the other payments which shall no doubt turn up eventually will be most welcome. Plus, though I've been given the breed, and some general markings, this one comes without a design, so I get to do some design work! I love doing design work!
'Kay, here's a small request for all of you.
If I ever do something you find rude, upsetting, or offensive. please, PLEASE PLEASE for the love of small furry things, tell me!
If you never tell me, if you just sit and stew and mutter and grumble at me, I can't apologize, I can't change my behavior, I can't do anything about it, so I will blithely go on my way, and will probably do the same thing again later, and you'll just get that much more upset.
I'm not saying I want people to chew me out, or start arguments or drama, I just hate the unpleasant surprise of hearing "this is the last straw, I'm not speaking to you ever again!" when I wasn't aware there'd been a first straw at all. I would just really appreciate a little "Hey, just so you know I'm not happy about this" from folks. Then I can at least try to be aware of what upsets people.
I mean... it's possible you'll tell me "Hey, I don't like when you do this," and all I'll be able to say is "Er, sorry too ingrained, I don't think I can not do it." But if you never mention it, then there's never going to be any chance of my modifying my behavior. I'm blunt, I say what I think, most of the time. If somebody offends me, I let 'em know (witness this recent little round of drama.) I'm probably not going to stop doing so. But I can at least try to know where the sensitive spots are, and to say what I think a little more politely around those areas. And to do that, I need a little feedback, so don't feel you can't tell me when I've been offensive. I'd tell you if I thought you were, you can bet on that!
It is the worst shock in the world to suddenly have somebody I liked, and who I thought liked me, flip out because I've been offending them all along, when I had no idea I'd done anything upsetting. And it's a shock I'd really prefer to avoid.
When someobdy you don't know adds you to their friends list, what do you do?
1. Ignore them.
2. Read some of their journal, and friend them back if they look okay.
3. Friend them back automatically regardless.
4. Friend them back automatically unless they're somebody you already know of and don't like.
5. Ask them why they friended you, and then friend or not accordingly
6. Something else entirely.
For the sake of completeness and honesty, I shall say that I used to do #3. My journal was 100% friends only at one point to avoid two or three specific individuals, so unless you did something that upset me so badly I never wanted to speak to you again, I'd automatically add you, no matter who you were, because I'm pretty open about most of what I post, and I don't care who sees it.
Now, however, I tend to do #2. Mostly because my friends page was becoming a nightmare that I wasn't keeping up with properly. It's still pretty scary, but manageable, and I do at least skim everything my friends post, and read almost everything in detail. And as I post 90% of my content publicly, I don't feel I'm shutting anybody out by failing to friend them, they're still free to read my stuff and comment on it, so I only add to the list if they look like somebody very interesting.
I sometimes feel weird not friending people I know are perfectly nice, but.... dunno. They're nice, but they tend to lj about stuff I don't care about, is generally what it is.
Anyhow, answer me! What do you do?