July 31st, 2007



I find myself afraid at times.

I am not afraid of terrorists. Should I happen to be on a plane that gets hijacked, or in a building that gets blown up, I may die. But that's it. I've never really feared death, though of course I have a nice strong survival instinct and thus try my best to avoid it. But death is not the worst fate I can imagine. And I know perfectly well that I have more to fear from drunk teenagers in cars than from fundamentalist Muslims, on the sudden unavoidable death front.

I am afraid of the future.

I am afraid of this country falling apart into anarchy, but I am also afraid of it not falling apart, but merely continuing down the road of present trends.

I am afraid of my government.

I am afraid of the nearly unthinkable, and yet alarmingly plausible idea that Bush and co. may try to stay in power after his term is up.

I am afraid of the fact that the FBI would interview a man merely for reading something, and even more afraid of the fact that somebody reported that man for suspicious activity merely for reading something.

I am afraid of the fact that I no longer have any rights that cannot be taken from me.

The terrorists haven't won. They have gained nothing. But I live in a terrorized nation anyway, not because of what terrorists did on 9-11, but because of what my own government did afterwards.

And most of the time I just go on with my life and try not to think about it too much. I will vote for those who I hope will not terrorize this country further, that's all I can do. And there's the bit that really scares me. That's all I can do, and it's not much. Say all you want about the power of people working together, one person's vote means nothing in our current system.
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