January 24th, 2019


It's just one of those days.

My theme song is perpetually Weird Al's "Just One Of Those Days." Today was. In spades. Things went all pear shaped starting at like 2am, and it took a long time to improve. (The goober-child woke up in the middle of the night and took something like three hours to get back to sleep. And then my car died. Probably just the battery, but still, for fuck's sake.)

I did, however, make it to my therapy appointment. First appointments are always hard. I've seen this therapist before, but not for years, and going over absolutely everything in my life right now was quite a task. I can be a kind of complicated person and there's just a lot to unpack. That's the whole reason I need to go, tbh. Any one of the problems I'm dealing with I could just deal with. But they all gang up on me. (The goober child and all her issues, my work, my writing, my gender and identity issues, my family, health and diet stuff, the list goes on and on.)

I once heard somebody call it being nibbled to death by ducks. Just one duck is no problem at all, even if it bites. Nobody runs away in fear from just one duck. But if there are enough ducks, well...

But unpacking that was nice. And I got free soup.

Because I'm oblivious and can't read, admittedly. The sign said cash only. I did not see the sign. But the gal said it was just a bowl of soup, and it's fine, don't worry. I offered to find an ATM, but she said it was a fair ways away, and I should just come back again some time. Given that the diner is in the same building as my therapy appointments, I'm sure I will. Maybe I'll offer to pay for the soup next time I'm back. But it was very nice of her to just say "don't worry about it." Especially given the day I've had. Tiny little things can make such a huge difference.

I was up later than intended last night, writing. (Part of what started today's cascade of suck, admittedly. I told my therapist, all the good things in my life cause me problems. It's very annoying.) But I got over 3k words written yesterday on my "serious" novel, Dragon's Blood. I put "serious" in quotes because it's a furry fantasy adventure novel about a vampire, with a bisexual romance side plot, so it's very much "genre" fiction and not like Literature with the capital L. And yet the protagonist spends as much time discussing philosophy as fighting dragons, and it's all about sin and redemption and what makes one evil or good, and heavy shit like that, so it's not as if it's just fluff. Anyhow, it's heading into the end game now, and I am getting excited. It's well over 80k words already, so I think it'll crack 100 before it's done, though some of that I may end up trimming back out again. That count already includes some explicit sex scenes I know I'll be boot-scene-ing in the final version.

Today's goals: write at least a little more of Dragon's Blood, and sew in a zipper.

What are all your goals today, little or large?

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1499326.html.