January 25th, 2019


Me and my weird brain.

I really should do a "state of the union" write up about who/what is living in my head at the moment, I haven't done one in ages, though admittedly the roll call has been fairly stable for some time now.

I am still sleep deprived. I stayed up just a smidge writing and then getting sexytimes last night, and of course the goober decided that meant she needed to wake up bright and early this morning. *yawn*

I have joined the fandomexchange group, and I'm realizing that I have a couple of problems with trying to participate. I see exchanges that sound fun to write for all the time. But for one there's the "new thing" problem, in that I've never participated in any kind of formal writing exchange before, and never used the AO3 system so it feels alien and confusing and intimidating. And for two, I have zero idea what to ask. Other than pony, all my favorite fandoms are on the obscure side, and I don't really "have ships" the way some people do, I like pairings based on how well they work in a given story, generally. So I have no idea what to ask for, even if I fully understood how the asking process works. And asking for something I don't really want, just so I'll have asked, just so I can write, seems...wrong somehow?

It's one of those barriers that I'm pretty sure is really dumb. It doesn't have to be the deepest desire of my heart to be okay to ask for. And all kinds of people manage to participate in these things, I'm sure the actual process is not that confusing once you try it. But new things really do seem to get harder and harder the older I get. Sigh. Somewhere in my head I'm perpetually about 25, but 25 was a looooooooooooooooong time ago.

*Waves my cane at all you whippersnappers around here.*

I'm sure eventually something will grab my attention hard enough to get me over the hump, but so far nothing quite has.

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1499542.html.

State of the Union.

No relationship to anything to do with current politics. :D (I mostly leave them out of this space, there are other people covering those topics better than I could.)

So I am relatively open about being plural. I sometimes get a little skittish about it, since I have had bad reactions from people in the past, but mostly folks at least try to be understanding, and I'm really not fond of closets.

By "plural" I mean something like multiple personalities, DID, etc. although it's quite different from how that's portrayed in pop culture and media. We're definitely not Sybil.

There are currently either seven or eight of us, depending on how you want to count. I myself, SPark, Steph, whatever, am essentially a gestalt of everyone. I'm the Voltron, the Megazord, the by-our-powers-combined Captain Planet. There are seven others.

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So yeah, that's everyone and where they're at, currently. We do not experience questions about this as annoying or intrusive, we actually quite like discussing how things work for us, so questions about any of the above are totally welcome if anybody has any. Or sharing similar experiences/headmates of your own, etc. :3

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1499807.html.

I am definitely posting too much

At the knock on his door Aidan put down the book he'd been reading and rose. He felt mildly puzzled, Luke had said he might stop by tomorrow, they'd been seeing each other on a fairly regular basis for nearly a month now, but he wasn't expecting anyone today. Perhaps it was Lyra, though it was a little early for her, she usually closed down her shop and had her supper before visiting, and it wasn't even dark yet.

He swung the door open, to find a total stranger standing on the other side. It was a roe deer, young and with a modest rack of antlers, dressed as a tradesman of some kind. Aidan's attention, though, wasn't on that so much as on the crossbow the man was holding, pointed directly at his chest.

Without a word the deer fired, and Aidan had no time to dodge, the bolt took him in the center of his chest, directly through the heart. Pain blazed from the spot and he crumpled to his knees, hands clutching at the bolt's fletching, which stood out only a few inches, the whole length of it sunk through him. His hands felt weak, but he struggled to grip the crossbow bolt anyway. If he could just pull it out he'd heal. But he had to pull it out, else he might die.

"Now I shall have the chance to rectify my earlier mistakes," said a soft, deep, familiar voice. It was a voice Aidan heard in his nightmares, and he looked up to see that the deer had stepped aside and Bishop Loverde was standing there, his pale-scaled form filling the doorway. Aidan felt almost like he might faint. This had to be a dream, a nightmare, it surely couldn't be real.

Loverde reached out, his clawed hand touching Aidan's forehead, and the last thing Aidan saw was the dragon's sharp-toothed smile as the world faded to black and the nightmare claimed him completely.

Ah ha ha hahah! It's here! I am writing it right now! The moment I've been working towards for more than a year! The final confrontation, the climax, the all-is-now-revealed moment. Admittedly, most of what is going to be revealed will be stuff anyone who's been paying attention as they read would have at least some guesses about, but still! Aidan himself is going to be rather shocked, he's been a bit preoccupied living through it all and hasn't really managed to fill in the blanks properly.

The story is 90k words right now, and will probably clock in just under 100k when it's done.

Ohgods. And then I will edit it, and submit it to a publisher, and for once it won't be "Here's some shit I wrote, reject it if you like" it'll be "Here's my baby, please love it." Aiee!

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1500084.html.