February 7th, 2019



Well, I've figured out why the last two days have felt sucky even though all the news I've gotten has been good news and nothing has actually gone wrong.

It's "that time of the month."


I have no words for how much I hate menstruation. It was worth putting up with, sort of, when I still wanted a baby but I HAD the fucking baby, I am done with the uterus and I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate menstruating. I don't even mind the blood or needing pads/tampons, or any of that. The cramps are annoying but livable.

No, it's the FUCKING mood swings that get me. There's this part of my body that is symptomatic of everything I dislike about my body, and on top of that it forces me to involuntarily feel things that I have no good reason to feel. I hate it. It's a non-consensual thing that happens to me, that I can't prevent, that I have to suffer through, and it forces me to do things I don't want to do and I just loathe everything about it.

And of course there's nothing I can do about it because I can't afford to have an elective surgery that my insurance would never cover just because I don't like feeling cranky for a few days a month.


This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1504284.html.