February 11th, 2019


Tick the tickybox

My life currently runs on alarms and checklists.

In some ways it's annoying. Can't I just do what needs doing as I think of it?

Well, the answer to that is "nope!" It doesn't work and things get forgotten or put off or not done and that is why, by the way, I had to get the roots of my teeth planed, which is not fun and also cost money, but I never remembered to floss and trying to fit that second brushing in every day wasn't working, though at least I was doing the one.

Now I have an alarm, 11:30am, which is usually just after I'm done with getting up goober, feeding her breakfast, catching up on e-mails, having a cup of tea, etc. which are all things I manage without an alarm, ("goober needs to be fed" is self-alarming and always has been, kids will let you know when they're hungry, though her favorite way to do that right now is to start begging for chocolate chips) but the tooth brushing now happens at a strict time after that.

The posting content on the net also had a schedule, an alarm, a list of things to post, and a bunch of other organizational shit, and while on one hand it all feels cumbersome, work-like, without joy, on the other, it kinda is my job, ish? And it is damn satisfying to tick that ticky box, cross that thing off the list, delete that thing from the organizing document, and say "did that!"

So I guess I'll take it.

Although I have been adhering faithfully to my publicity-aimed posting schedule for over a week now, and I'm still not world famous, dammit!

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1505576.html.

Letting my friends read.

Letting? Asking to? I don't know. There's a weird push-pull with sharing my stories.

On the one hand, I enjoy sharing, enjoy getting feedback, and a lot of the time friends are basically doing beta reading. They're doing work for me, for free. On the other hand, I sell this shit, and I literally charge Patreon patrons money in order to read the stuff early, so I'm giving friends something for free that I would normally charge for.

I figure it kinda balances out? So when somebody is a friend, I am always happy to let them read my stuff early. Right as I write it even, that's fine. But it's kinda like...

I don't want to shove it down people's throats. Especially since I write a LOT. I'll mention what I'm writing. If you don't sound interested, I won't offer to have you read it, because why would you want to if you're not interested? And if I send something, and you give no feedback, I'll figure you either hated it, or were too busy to read it, and I'll never send you anything again.

It's not any kind of like "You didn't praise me, punish!" It's literally just why would I harass somebody to read a thing when they clearly had no time to read the last thing yet?

Unfortunately it turns out that apparently some people read it and like it and say nothing about it and then are wondering why I've never offered them anything else to read even though I keep mentioning things I'm writing and OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE I'M NOT PSYCHIC. You gotta tell me you read the last one, and you gotta speak up when I'm talking about the current one and be interested, okay?

People, man. They are dumb. Even friends, sometimes. :P It's very frustrating.

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1505962.html.