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Going Gonzo
I've *always* been "the weirdo", and that's always been a good thing.

It's actually fascinating to me that I sometimes get the response, if I just say "I'm a weirdo" and don't clarity further, that I shouldn't put myself down like that. As if defining one's self as "different" is inherently bad.

It tells me a lot about the ways in which the person saying that is likely to think.

The ways in which *I* think are very unusual ways, it seems.

That's fascinating also.

You can read papers and studies and discussions about psychology, and "the human mind", and get the impression that everyone thinks more or less the same way. This is not remotely true! There are certainly broad common trends, which few if any of us are immune to, but there's a great deal of variation.

And there's a certain pernicious strain of happy, fluffy "progressive", pro-diversity thought that just doesn't recognize that. You see it a lot in various inspirational messages (I am always suspicious of inspirational messages) with the theme that we may look different, but deep down we're all brothers and sisters, or whatever.

Deep down we are all *human* and we all have intrinsic value as humans.

But if we were all the *same* deep down, diversity would be a very shallow thing, and the people who push for a colorblind society, or say that now that gay marriage is legal, pride should go away and gays should just blend in to every other suburban family of four, it's no different having two dads, really, right? Those people would be right.

They are not right.

We are not the same.

We don't have the same experiences. We don't have the same hopes and dreams. We don't even have the same thought patterns and ways of conceptualizing the world. And for whatever reason I seem to be further off of the "norm", more out there, farther from the middle of the bell curve on that front than most people.

I mean hell, I have synesthesia. I have a specific kind/expression of it that I've *never* encountered in anybody else, even. Mine is sound->touch synesthesia, which means that certain sounds are literally tactile to me, they have a feel and a texture to them. There are songs I experience in a way no other human being I've ever spoken do does. (If you have ever heard electric guitar riffs as liquid metal droplets hitting the "skin" of your mind/ears, let me know! I'd love to meet somebody else who shares that one!) And that's just an easy one, one I can lay out in a few lines and get the concept across. The way I perceive self, identity, gender, work, love, family, god, being, and the whole damn universe is unique enough I can count the people I've had *really* grok how I think on the fingers of one hand and have fingers left over. *AND* that short list is just the ones where they divide can be bridged and we've been able to understand each other, neither of the people on the short list think exactly like me, we just have enough similar principles and ways of communicating that we've managed to reach across worlds.

It really is like crossing worlds. Talking to any other human being is talking to somebody from another planet. That's fascinating too, isn't it? We make First Contact with aliens all the time.

There is a level on which no man is an island, it's true. But there is also a level on which *every* man is. And I don't just mean some nebulous, philosophical, "do you see what I see when you see blue?" kind of thing, I mean in much more concrete terms.

It makes the times the gap gets bridged in every the smallest of ways very precious times indeed.

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1515394.html.