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Contradictions
flamebusy
bladespark
Been kinda mentally and emotionally all over the map, lately. Definitely some ups and downs.

It's funny how it's possible to feel overwhelmed, overburdened, and like you never want to leave the house again, and also lonely and like you want to talk to somebody.

Sigh.

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1539096.html.

People are funny.
flamebusy
bladespark
I had somebody anon-ask me on tumblr to tell me that I shouldn't "fetishize" gay couples for my own "pleasure." As far as I can tell it was in response to a post I'd made just before that mentioning that I'm writing a boatload of Aziraphale/Crowley Good Omens smut.

It made me laugh, and also made me respond "I'm gay, dipshit."

Assuming that somebody writing gay smut must be some kind of… Well, I suppose straight cis woman is the assumption here? Assuming that is so amusing to me.

For the record, I don’t think straight cis women liking gay male porn is exactly a problem. What porn you like is between you and your junk, and God if you roll that way. :3 So long as you’re not fag-hagging real gay men, who cares?

But seriously. I didn’t latch on to the Ineffable Husbands and start writing a million kinky fics about them because OMG THE FETISH, it’s because OMG IT’S ME! I am like 30/70 Crowley/Aziraphale as a person (Deep insecurity alternating with awesome coolness and looks I *totally* pull off, way into food, slightly too soft about the middle but I only care because I don’t fit my favorite shirt right now and oh, yeah, really obsessing about clothes too much, that’s probably both of them, loving books way too much, and wanting everything to stay just the way it is and why do I have to keep learning new computer programs, Somebody dammit!)

It’s not “Ooo, hot!” it’s “Ooo, relatable! And I could say things about desire and security/insecurity and love and lust and the way I feel about my partner and…”

So yeah.

I’m gay, dipshit. :D

This entry was originally posted at https://bladespark.dreamwidth.org/1539365.html.